A Concrete Goose Chase

 On more than one occasion, I’ve been told that I need to have a “Farm Cam” to catch all of the antics that happen on an almost daily occurrence. 

The dedicated “Farm Cam” is still a dream in the future, but a few days ago I discovered a security camera can be a great substitute. 

It was early morning and morning chores were just being completed. I didn’t wear a coat that day because I figured I’d be back in the house fairly quickly. Walking down to the small barn to feed the pot belly pigs and barn cat and fill up feeders and waterers for the chickens was uneventful and then I began my walk back to the house. 

As I approached the house I heard a goose honking loudly, a usual occurrence because the geese are always begging for food. What was strange, however, was that the sound wasn’t coming from behind the house, it was coming from the front of the house. 

My eyes looked toward the front and only saw the white concrete goose that stands guard in the turnaround of the driveway. 

Now, I know that I’m on the other side of the half-century mark in age but I also know I haven’t completely lost my senses yet. Was I entering that land of no return in hearing concrete animals making sounds? 

I drew closer to where the sound had resounded from. There was not one concrete goose but seemingly two! I definitely needed to get more sleep. 

Of course, what I was actually noticing was that one of the live backyard geese had somehow gotten out of the fence and wandered to the front - seeking out the stoic, non-speaking concrete goose for companionship. 

Picture in your mind this visual: a middle-aged woman in pink pajama bottoms with little pink pigs on them, a short-sleeve t-shirt, hair disheveled and wearing black rain boots. This goose needed to be returned to the safety of the backyard and its flock and I was going to have to do everything I could to get it back, regardless of how ridiculous I looked.. 

I figured it wasn’t much different than corralling a chicken so I crouched in the football stance, arms outstretched, calling out “this way buddy, this way.” All while cars on their way to their respective places of work rushed past. 

It took a bit but the goose finally allowed itself to be caught and as I went inside to change into clothes for my day job I thought “it’s too bad that wasn’t caught on camera - I’m sure it was hilarious.”

That’s when I realized - the security camera on the front of the house had captured it all. 

The video was shared on Facebook and at the urging of several friends, I decided to take a chance and send it to America’s Funniest Home Videos. 

Who knows if this morning antic will be enough to capture the attention of the producers of the show, but it definitely provides for a great story at Christmastime. 

It’s as I always say to people who stop to talk about the antics on the farm - you just never know what’s going to happen next. 

Merry Christmas to all and until next time…

A Cat Burglar

 At last account, there was a mystery going on, on the farm. The chickens were still busily gobbling up their spent grain, and discarded pumpkins that folks had either delivered right to the door or I picked up, and frustration was mounting that each day there wasn’t an egg to be seen. 

Sunny out-of-season warm days happened that should have guaranteed a plethora of orbs and still no eggs. 

On occasion, one would find the remnants of an egg - the shell laying completely clean of yolk and white but then, nothing. 

Thinking that the culprit was most likely another chicken or chickens that had discovered that some pretty tasty things come from their backsides, or perhaps a wayward racoon or weasel that was sneaking into the coop, all on recognizance was set up with a night vision trail cam to capture who the wily thief was. 

The first attempt at capturing the heist in progress was a total failure. The SD card that was in the trail cam experienced an error some time between setting the cam up and checking about 72 hours later. 

Not to be defeated, a new SD card was obtained and once again a waiting period of 72 hours went by. 

Super excited to see what or who the culprit was going to be, the card was taken inside the house to glean through around 400 or so still photos of chickens going in and out of nesting boxes, the occasional dust cloud drifting by and then, the answer to all of the missing eggs was discovered. 

Who would it be but dear Cooper, the barn cat that took up residence last November as a small kitten. 

Photo after photo showing the crafty cat reaching into a nesting box with his murder mittens to gently roll a freshly egg out onto the coop floor and then quietly devour it like it never happened left me absolutely stunned. 

Knowing that the cat had been displaying a beautifully shiny and healthy coat, it all made sense now. Obviously the temptation of having a fresh egg or two every day was just too much for the feline and he had been helping himself to the freshest laid eggs in Jackson County. 

The cat burglar being identified, now comes the dilemma of a trial. Is it banishment from the chicken coop? Perhaps new nesting boxes need to be purchased that allow the eggs to roll back into a secret compartment so that they can’t be readily accessible to fluffy paws.

Whatever the outcome comes to, it has to be that at least some, if not all, eggs need to be saved from an over easy bum nugget cruncher. Efforts to interrogate the guilty party have gone unanswered. 

Until next time…